I wanna move to Portland.
and I know that means I'm a little off my rocker. Its so pretty there...unbelievably pretty. So instead of moving today like I want to..I've decided to be ready to move in 2 years when I have to get an internship somewhere. I am going to make a plan to seek out new places we could comfortably live. Places with reliable public transportation, and communities that actually communicate, and good schools, and plenty of work for me and hubby. Basically I'm looking for utopia, I know, but somewhere, anywhere other than right here will work (except Jax..I hate that place). I've even considered Melbourne (although hubby doesn't want to live that close to my mother, understandably)..

library is closing..gotta go.

Having unlimited access to the internet is not necessarily a good thing...especially for me. I'm at my Mom's and she had DSL (or whatever is fastest) and I can surf the internets to my heart's content at 12 am. Problem is, my heart won't be fully content until I buy the $36 bra I "need" in order to start jogging (cause the 2 I've already bought just aren't perfect) and then I have to buy my niece a birthday gift (mind you, I don't buy any of my nieces or nephews birthday gifts..ever) and I think there was some yarn I wanted, and I do need running shoes too...

Obviously there are issues that need addressing.

I haven't bought anything, luckily. Instead I am sharing my ridiculousness with the world here.
Of course, I might still buy the bra..

I'm tired but I am just going to sit here until I think of more crap I need to look up/investigate/study/read about/shop for ...whatever. I'm so deprived normally that I'm on some kind of overload!

Yay! The air conditioner didn't cost anything to fix. WOOHOO!!!

And my sister fixed the brakes on my car so she could use it (long story) YAY!!

and my FIL was evidently not as serious as I though, although I am still trying to figure out why he would say that to me if he wasn't serious so I am still making quiet plans to not rely on him for housing...

So my gloomy black cloud has cleared a little

and Kiddo is now with my mom for a whole freaking week!! Holy Crap! I am going to have a fun week I think.

and I got out of class early today and the last test is next Thurs!

I made a homeade pad from This site. If I had a camera I would show you but for now just know that its blue and really cute. I will probably try to make at least 5. They are really quick and easy to make. Time will tell how effective they are.

I put my books up for sale on Ravelry but I guess the prices are too high or something cause I got some disagreens and no takers...but it costs a lot more to ship some stuff than people really consider. Maybe I should adjust the prices to not include shipping and then charge exact shipping...I dunno.

I am in a super mood and I am also begining to wonder if I need to try to keep a more strict schedule cause the bipolar might be getting a little out of hand. I haven't been sleeping as much lately and I am always feeling either one extreme or the other and in very short cycles. I think it mostly is because I haven't been exercising as much since I have been so busy with this stupid class. I want to start doing the running program that I think Kelly is on but I'm not sure I have the discipline...or the proper shoes to do it. Maybe if I got some insoles or something.

I am running a mile a minute right now and I think I will use it to its full advantage.

Last night Hubby and I realized that the air conditioner was not properly conditioning our air. It was set for 78 and the thermostat said 82... possibly a sign of a problem. The air people will be out on Thursday and hopefully I will go into my yard and find a money tree cause I've yet to figure out how to pay them.

So Kiddo and I are at the library today enjoying some free internet and free air conditioning. Later today they said they will be showing a movie and so I think we might leave to eat and then come back for free entertainment and free popcorn. YAY!

Now, those of you that know me might know that on Wed mornings I am usually at school (maybe ya'll don't know.. but whatever) I had asked my SIL to watch Kiddo on Mon and Wed cause we is be broke and I aint gots no monies for daycares.  Of course, she said no problem. Monday went off without a hitch but this morning when I called her she said she thought I was taking him to daycare. Why would she think that?? I had the conversation with her twice about when and why and she had noooo problem with it. So I emphasized that in our conversation and she came back with...

"you know how your stomach feels when you laugh too hard for too long?" SIL

uhhh.....yeah...(me)

"well, thats how I feel and I can't watch him today."

WTF??
If only I could illustrate to you the look I had on my face...

So I had to skip school cause..(no wait, it gets better)
I am using my mom's truck cause the brake pads on my car need replacing and I can't affor to fix them and its considerably more on gas than my little car....and it costs $10 to leave Kiddo at the daycare but it costs $10 to drive him out there and back!


Oh..and did I mention that FIL has finally said to us that he wants us to move?? Oh, it just keeps giving! We have to either move the house or find someone to buy the house (HA!)

I am honestly considering just walking away from the GD thing but then we will have no where to live and we can't afford the going rate in town (talk about broke...going rate is close to double what we pay now)


oh wait..one more thing. The bladder tank on our pump broke about a month ago and FIL just bought a new one (we didn't ask him to, he just did it) and so now we have to pay  him back which I was really trying to avoid.

I am overwhelmed.
I want to cry
but I won't


It has occured to me that I will have to quit school and get a full time job.

Why is it that when I sit down to write something about my life, everything I write falls short of what I want to share. Its kinda frustrating. It would take me hours to illustrate to anyone who might care, what has happened in the last two weeks. I had a indescribable time in Texas and I've come back refreshed and renewed. Going to Texas was everything I hoped it would be and more. It was better than a vacation. I worked really hard every day and got a tremendous return on my investment. Hopefully I can go back in October but even if I don't, its ok because I've gained a lot of perspective for my trouble.

Of course, the Monday after I came back it was right back to it. I am taking Microbiology and it is hard core! This class is probably going to take the bulk of my time in the next 7 weeks. Luckily, I have Emily (Kelly's roomate) to be my study buddy. I am learning that any task so much easier and more fun with a friend. (thanks Hope!)

I don't know when I will be going to a Purl meeting. I haven't touched knitting or crochet in 3 weeks I think.This Saturday is the Bostwick Blueberry Festival and it is going to be so awesome. I wanna eat enough blueberries to make myself sick! I wanna bring enough blueberries home that I can eat them for the rest of the summer in any and every immaginable form! Anybody interested in carpooling/caravaning? Me, Kiddo, Jesse and I think Hope are going but maybe not in the same car? Anyways....its gonna be fun!!

I came home to a beautiful, well kept, well watered garden. Thanks to Jesse and Kiddo. They did a fantastic job. Though I need to weed and fertalize and rearrange the worms a bit. I also need to plant another set of beans, corn, and whatever else I can find. The garden is starting to take up 3 or 4 hours of my time daily which is what makes me happy. Hopefully, school won't get too much in the way.

Speaking of school...off to class for 2 hours of fun! =))

So I've reached another road block on my way to Texas. Our daycare center doesn't open until 630 and hubby has to be at work at 630. Hubby doesn't want me to ask FIL  because it would be a great inconvenience to watch kiddo for 30 mins then take kiddo to daycare....even though FIL gets up and out the door by 630 am anyways and has a very flexible work schedule and is basically his own boss and could probably go in 30 mins later than usual. I understand that it would not be fun for anyone but its the most feasible solution without Hubby making a crazy ass schedule. It seems to me that FIL's are there to help when we need it right? It just makes sense to me and he is literally 200 yards away and we would pay his gas to take kiddo to school. I keep wondering if I should even go. I want to. Its one of those things, if I don't go I won't notice the loss really but if I go it could be life changeing. It can influence me for years to come and I hate to loose that opportunity to expand my horizons. But, at the same time I hate making everyone's life miserable (hubby, kiddo, FIL, brother...etc) for me. Its not in my nature to inconvenience people. So hubby is going to talk to work and find out if they will let him come in late and daycare will still be $60 we can hardly afford. Overall this will be an expensive trip. Luckily I did some work for my cousin and she is going to pay my share of gas which will help a bunch and then I was thinking that I would sell a bunch of books or some yarn when I get back to recoup the loss. I would do it before but I don't have time.

In fact, the only reason I am posting this is to kill time while I wait to access my online class to take my final exam. Once I finish this test I won't have to deal with it again! YAY! But I still have 3 finals, one quiz and 2 assignments due. One of my assignments is my ASL story and I am probably going to do a half assed job of it just to get it over with. I have a high A in the class and I could probably skip the story altogether but then I could end up with a B.

I had to order 3 skeins of yarn so I can make the tank top sizzle   I haven't bought yarn in a while and I know I shouldn't be buying yarn right now buy it was only $13. with shipping and I don't feel too bad cause I sold that much yarn to the purl girls. What i am struggling with is that I really really really really want to buy some spinning fiber. Really badly! But I have to stay strong and spin what I have even though I have to card it up and its white and then I have to dye it which I really don't have the time or patience for... I can do it! Even though all the other ladies at the spin in will have beautiful roving in all different colors and fibers...and I will feel like the kid at school wearing my brother's hand-me-downs. I can do it! If I spin it all up then maybe I will be able to buy some really nice stuff this summer. And I am happy that this weekend I don't have to wear a colonial costume. YAY! that thing is kinda uncomfortable and hot. And I don't have to borrow anyone's wheel so I can bring my Babe. I spun up the last bit of some mystery fiber last night. Its purty. If I had a camera I would share....=(
I also made a kale, potato, chickpea soup and vegan bread for dinner. Yummy!

Ok, I feel better.

..just consider that at the exact moment you were planning to spend your spring break knitting, gardening and just generally enjoying yourself, they will spike a 103 fever and need to stay home from school for 2 days. That is what the last two days have been for me. The fever is down today and tomorrow he gets back to school but I still feel a annoyed because I am now behind on what I wanted to accomplish this week. Mostly I am behind on gardening and cleaning and FUN! I'm not mad at him at all...its not his fault but if I find the little shit that gave it to him......=(

Ok, I have gotten a lot of knitting done while snuggling with kiddo and watching Harry Potter. I started the EZ Pi shawl with that lightweight lace I have. I think its Prism yarn but I forget now. I am already to the 288 stitches part.

Well, dinner is ready. We are at the FIL house for corned beef and cabbage. It smells good...

Its a purse...and its lined




Isn't it awesome!! YAY!

and maybe soon I will post a pic of the blanket...its bigger than I am....oooo...don't you wish you could lend me a camera?!